Any suggestions?

I've been trying to come up with a way to make a few dollars.  I really need to do this so my daughter and I can eat healthier.  I'm so frustrated!  I'm learning how to use a computer, internet, blogs, etc. as I go.  We didn't have computers when I went to school and we didn't use them for my job either.  I use the two-finger typing method, so it takes forever for me to write anything on here...for now.  Anyway, that being said, I can't leave my apartment so I figure this wretched computer is my only hope.  I guess I don't know what to do or where to start.  I'm looking for any real suggestions anyone might have as to how I can earn a little money.  Thanks, in advance, for any input.

Well, I guess I'd better get started typing now if I want to get a longer post up by tomorrow.  :)  

Why the hell am I fat?

Why do most people automatically assume that we, Super Fatties, all became fat by eating too much greasy, fattening, unhealthy food?

I was reminded of my childhood the other day.  Yeah, I was always the chunky kid who couldn't figure out WHY I was so chubby.  I mean, I was extremely active and competitive.  I just HAD to be the best at every darn sport I was allowed to play.  I was really good at everything!  I played on the boys' football team, wrestling team, and baseball team.  I played for the girls' volleyball and basketball teams.  I was an avid swimmer and participated in diving competitions.  I had the nickname, "Fearless Freddy" on the ski slopes.  I took several years of tap, ballet, gymnastics, jazz, and freestyle dance.  I roller skated, skateboarded, kayaked, river rafted, fished, hiked (the Swiss Alps)...you name it.  I had fractured bones and torn tendons and I kept on going.  I even instructed an aerobics class for teens.  I had dozens of medals and trophies.  So, why the hell was I fat?

Well, one might like to think it was because I ate a ton of junk food, but that was NOT the case.  My father was a French chef (Oh, yeah, I can see your eye-roll).  Contrary to popular belief, I did NOT grow up eating a ton of fattening food.  My breakfast was pretty normal.  I'd usually have a bowl of cereal (not the sugary kind) with 2% milk or cottage cheese or PLAIN oatmeal and a piece of fruit.  Lunches were complicated.  While my friends had bologna or PBJ sandwiches and Twinkies, chips, etc, I usually had thin-sliced, garlic-roasted NY steak on baguette with Dijon mustard (NO mayo allowed in our house), a piece of fruit, and veggies.  Oh, how those lunches sucked!!! (Of course, I wouldn't think that way today)  I was always the kid who asked if anyone wanted to trade lunches.  Anyone?  Pleeeease!?  Pretty Pleeeease?  Alas, I didn't have many takers...and I think those few times were out of pity.  After all, I was the only kid who had a lunch bag that reeked of garlic!  Dinner was at 4PM (which also sucked).  It was the only time my dad had available to come home, prepare food, and eat with us as a family.  Dinners were fairly simple.  We always had a protein, a starch, and at least one vegetable.  My mom loves seafood, so we often ate shellfish.  My mom is also VERY health conscious, so my dad prepared almost everything with fresh herbs and garlic.  Dessert was almost always a salad with vinegar, olive oil, Dijon mustard, garlic, fresh herbs, and a stinky piece of cheese.  So, why the hell was I fat?

We were NEVER allowed to eat junk food.  We couldn't even dream of chips, soda pop, marshmallows, pancakes, hot dogs, etc, etc.  If we begged for a hamburger, my dad would put a piece of filet mignon through the meat-grinder, stuff it with Gruyere cheese and GARLIC (and sometimes mushrooms), and put it on a baguette.  *sigh*  That was our hamburger.  Pizza?  You don't want to know.  Birthdays?  Fresh fruit tart instead of cake!  Uuuggh!  I was finally allowed to have my first soda pop (in the house) when I was 14 years old.  I explained to mom that the new soda that just came out (Tab) was sugar free.  She caved.  Yipee!  So, why the hell was I fat?

Okay, I know why I'm fat NOW.  You see, because I wasn't allowed to eat ANY junk when I was a kid, I rebelled the minute I escaped to start my own family.  I wanted to taste everything and anything that was forbidden when I was growing up.  I became a junk food goddess!  Really, it wasn't so bad.  I was pregnant during that time, so I was constantly throwing up everything anyway.  I did manage to gain SOME weight though...and I learned to love a few foods I probably shouldn't have.  Then, I felt guilty.  I became a vegan for a while (I didn't lose weight).  My dad's lamb chops, smothered in garlic, brought me back to the other side.  I watched my weight...really.  I watched my weight go up and down.  It wasn't until I hit rock-bottom that I learned the WHY.  When I could no longer afford to eat anything but starches, my weight went out of control.  I've been in that situation for more than a decade now and I'm fatter than hell...really!  Like I said in a previous post, there was a five week period where I had extra money and was able to eliminate starches from my diet four days a week, for five weeks.  I ate like I did when I was a kid...minus the starches.  I lost FIFTY pounds!  Oh, well.  I'm back to eating what I can afford...starches.  At least now I know the WHY.  

So, back to the beginning of this post...I didn't get fat by eating too much greasy, fattening food.  Please don't assume to know how anyone became a Super Fatty...and I won't assume to know how some people became the assholes they are.        

What non-hippos don't know...

I came across this Q & A post the other day.  Mind you, I don't know the person(s) who posted the question or any of the answers.  I don't know the age or situation of the original poster, so some of these answers might work for that individual.  I simply want to address it because it's an easy way to help non-hippos understand that their answers are not always so simple for us hippos...and to remind ex-hippos just how far they've come.

Question:    I weigh 450 lbs and I'm 5'3".  How do I change this, but I don't want to exercise?

Answer 1:  No matter what, you have to exercise. You can start off with eating healthier diet and take small steps like taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Many people think they can just go on a diet and loose weight but that is not the case at all, no matter what you have to do some exercising. Drink a lot of water, it flushes out the fatts in your diet and clears any skin problems along with making you over all healthier.


My response:  True, you have to exercise...at least to some degree.  There's really no way around that.  Examples are good to use, but the example of taking the stairs instead of the elevator doesn't quite work for some of us older hippos.  Personally, I'd be in big trouble if I had to take the stairs.  Small steps for someone in my situation would be to get up and walk around their house or apartment.  A small step would be to try to stand for an extra few minutes at a time.  


Answer 2:  You are morbidly obese and could drop dead at any time. You need to be under a Dr's care. This is not a minor problem. Your life is in jeopardy.


My response:  Duh!  Ya think?  Okay, non-hippos, this is on our minds 24/7.  I just thought you might like to know that.


Answer 3:  change your eating habits.. eat more healthier... thats really all you can do. try a NO CARB diet for 2 weeks then for 2 weeks eat with portion control.. and rotate.. take walks if you really dont like to work out a lot! good luck!


My response:  Personally, I would eat healthier if I could.  Like I said in my last post, if I could afford it I would eat lean proteins, veggies, and only whole grains.  This was probably the best answer of all of them.


Answer 4:  go do the lap band thing or gastricbypas however you spell but you still need to excercise 
cut out sugars and drink only water
try eating no fried foods starches or bread

My response:  Why do most non-hippos always assume that we hippos eat and drink a ton of sugar and fried foods?  And why is the "simple" answer to go have surgery?  It's not like surgery will suddenly cause you to be thinner or cure a food addiction or make you eat more veggies.  Besides, some of us probably wouldn't survive surgery.   


Answer 5:  Start by not drinking soda, that will help A LOT. Drink a lot of water instead. Then slowly replace fatty foods that you would normally eat with less fattening foods. Don't give up anything for this but just try smaller portions and adding fruits or veggies to replace the other half if you are still hungry. 
If all else fails you can get gastric bypass that would definitely help and you wouldn't have to exercise :-)

My response:  Okay, again with the assumptions.  Personally, I don't drink anything with sugar in it except for my coffee (1 or 2 cups per day).  I drink two liters of water each and every day.  When I drink more than two liters of water my muscles cramp up (maybe an electrolyte issue?).  I try not to eat fatty foods if there is a cost effective replacement.  For an example, today is Sunday, "splurge day."  I will broil or bake a lovely chicken breast and steam a pot full of beautiful broccoli for dinner tonight.  Yum!  See, splurging in my household means eating GOOD food and not being stuck eating high fat, ground beef by the chub, processed meats or a ton of cheap starches. 


Answer 6:  Well, for FAST weight loss, exercise I strongly advice, but if you are looking to loose weight at a slow pace, just start eating better. Just think about what you are about to eat before you eat it. For example..Breakfast, instead of a big hot breakfast of pancakes and sausage and what not, just think to yourself, "Should I eat this, or should I be eating something else?" Like instead of that bad breakfast of sausage, pancakes and eggs. Have a bowl of regular Cherrios with NO sugar and 1% milk. Lunch, instead of a cheeseburger, have a turkey sandwich with nothing on it, but lettuce and olives or onions. NO MAYO OR MUSTARD! Just a plain turkey sandwich. Forget ham, ham is bad for you. And if you eat the school's lunch start bringing lunch from home.

Just REALLY start thinking about what you eat and in a few months you will be 15-20 pounds lighter. Wouldn't that be nice.
If you really wanna loose that weight fast, run for about 20-30 minutes a day and eat right. Then you should lose about 1 or 2 pounds a weak, Good luck!

Source(s):

Myself. I am 5"5' and I used to weigh 165lbs. and from doing what I just told you, in just 3 months I am now 140! So just keep at it and you will loose the weight! Good luck!

My response:  Oh, this answer is just too much...well intentioned, I'm sure, but very funny.  Like every Super Fatty eats a big, hot breakfast of pancakes, sausage, and eggs each day.  I don't like pancakes and I eat eggs about once every other month.  Actually, I probably should eat more eggs because they are a good source of cheap protein.  No, I usually get stuck with a bowl of pasta for breakfast.  I love cottage cheese when I can afford it.  I'm allergic to most fruits AND the ones I don't have a reaction to are quite expensive.  I don't often eat cereal because most cheap cereal has a ton of sugar.  I'm not big on sugar.  Sugar just makes me hungrier.  Lunch, huh?  Well, a turkey sandwich is already my main staple.  I don't know why this person thinks ham is so bad.  Lean ham is okay.  I just find ham to be a little saltier and lean ham is usually a bit more expensive than turkey.  I find it funny how this person said, "Run for 20-30 minutes a day...then you should lose about 1 or 2 pounds a week."  Sweetheart, I have news for you, if my 450 lb body could run ONE minute each day, I'd lose 1 or 2 pounds a DAY!  Alas, most of us older, short, super hippos don't have that ability...at least for now.   


Answer 7:  First, I would recommend beginning to eat healthier. Try to substitue soda for orange juice or Crytal Lite. Then gradually move to water.
Then try to do some simple exercises. Do 5-20 jumping jacks a day. Then do ab twists. Just twist your body from one side to anpther 20 times. Then come up with your own exercises. Dont forget to eat healthy.! You can do it!

My response:  Again with the soda.  Jumping jacks?  Hon, if my body could even handle doing 5-20 jumping jacks, the people in my neighboring apartments would think we were having an earthquake (I live in California).  Anyway, my boobs are so big and hang so low I'm sure I'd give myself a black eye from doing jumping jacks.  To be serious here, in my current condition there is no way I could safely do a jumping jack.  


Answer 8:  my hubby lost 27 pounds in a month JUST MY CUTTING OUR MOUNTAIN DEW!!! then i made him sandwiches for lunches with zero calorie drinks and he lost another 10 pounds...with NO EXCERCISE WHAT SO EVER!! he will start to work out this winter. but he lost about 40 lbs from changing his eating habits.....i have talke dot many professionals about dieting and ecxercise...so im opposite of you...id rather workout and eat whatever i want..lol...but the sad news for me and the good news for you is that weight is 60 % from the food you eat and the rest is excercise and sleep......crazy, and true!!!


My response:  Soda, again!  Okay, for those of you Super Fatties who drink sugary sodas, PLEASE stop drinking them in public so all those NON-HIPPOS will stop thinking that's why ALL of us are so damn fat!  Anyway, it really is common sense that eliminating sugary drinks from your diet is a good thing.  It's at least a fantastic start for those of you who DO drink sugary drinks, hippo or not.


Okay, so now that I've put in my two cents, I'd really love to get YOUR feedback.  Please, please, please post something.  Oh, and I've been trying to figure out how to post pictures here but, like I said before, I'm quite tech illiterate.  If anyone has any suggestions I'd greatly appreciate it. 
Update:  I think I finally figured out how to post pictures etc.  Yipee! 

How does someone become 450 lbs?

Ha!  Dedication, total and complete love of others before your damn self, and LIFE bitch-slappin' you at every turn!  I fondly reminisce about what it was like to weigh 220 lbs after my son was born.  Geez!  Twenty three years ago feels like yesterday.  I was seemingly in such good shape despite the added bonus pouch.  Mama Hippo danced, worked a physically demanding job, and played at every turn.  Before I knew it I was going through divorce #1.  Okay, sometimes life's a bitch.  I managed just fine...although a few friends of mine seemed to disappear.  Oh, well.  I became a vegetarian and started dating again.  It was good for Mama Hippo to get back out there.  One man taught me how to truly accept a compliment.  I learned quite a bit about self-confidence during that time in my life.  Then I turned to a familiar face for love and excitement...my baby brother's best friend.  Well, that was a tough one to explain.  I mean, we were only 3 years apart, but he WAS my brother's best friend.  I was happy though.  My new love was like a big kid.  He taught me not to be so serious all the time...to LIVE life.  Unfortunately, after 10 years and another child, he was STILL a big kid.  Living life is one thing, but it can't be all fun and games ALL of the time when you have responsibilities.  During those years my weight fluctuated.  I'd balloon to 300 lbs, get upset about it, and lose the weight.  Well, it seemed like every time I lost 50 lbs or so I'd find out I was pregnant again (yes, we used protection) and I'd have to stop whatever "diet" I was on.  I worked my tail-end off back then, and I didn't know I had an incompetent cervix, so I miscarried.  It wasn't until I gave birth to two preemies (who ultimately didn't survive) that I found out about my condition.  Just before I lost my second daughter, my second husband, our two kids, and I moved back in with my folks.  It was really rough because I also worked for good ol' mom and dad.


Sooo, for anyone reading this, I guess it wouldn't come as a huge surprise to find out that my second husband and I split up right around that same time.  By this time my son was going through those maddening teenage years.  Oh, joy!  I was a single Mama Hippo with an insane, teen-aged son and a daughter just starting kindergarten.  Life was a little crazy!  And then the bomb dropped.  I won't go into detail here, but I lost my job...and you can imagine how the living arrangement was.  By this time I was STARTING to realize I had given so much of myself to friends and family, I hadn't taken the necessary time and effort to just take care of myself.  I decided to go back to school.  I wanted a fresh beginning.  I was ready to grab life by the horns and ride, baby, ride!


Anyway, I tried to get on track...only to find myself homeless.  Life just kept getting  tougher, and there was no bail-out.  I could not give anyone anything anymore.  I didn't have anything left to give.   Oh, I had a friend or two who tried to help me, but it wasn't like they totally understood my situation...or my pride.  I had always been the "strong one" so how could I break down now and say, "You aren't helping me the WAY I need to be helped!"  After all, I wasn't even sure HOW anyone could help or what help I really needed.  So, after some time, I managed to clear the air with the folks and I moved back in for a time.  I jumped between their place and a friend who  lived seventy miles away.  It was what it was.  Of course I ended up falling in love   with my best friend (the friend who lived seventy miles away), but that's another story for another day.


After some time I managed to get an apartment, but not before crashing my car.  No  car, but a roof over my head.  By this time, I was barely scraping by.  I could only   afford to eat starches and bologna for protein. Hey, starches are cheap.  It's the starches that kill me.  I started gaining weight like it was going out of style. Hungry, hungry Hippo!  Sure, I tried to keep walkin', but it's really hard when your whole body hurts so much and your muscles just can't keep up with your weight.  I won't talk about the pain right now.  


So, at some point, I managed to have a little income so I could afford to eat what I   needed to eat.  I lost 50 lbs in those 5 weeks!  Unfortunately, I've gained all that back plus because, once again, I can mostly only afford starches.  I can hardly walk.  My muscles cramp and spasm all the time and I'm afraid to walk outside where I have nothing to hold on to.  If I should fall, I'd have no way of getting up...not to mention that a fall could cause permanent damage.  A fall could very well leave me bed-ridden.  I'm hoping for a miracle.  I'm hoping to figure out a way to get a little income so I can buy a treadmill.  I'd also love to have enough money to be able to eat lean proteins, veggies, and whole grains.  Ooooh, I'd just be in heaven to be able to eat like that.  By the way, when I was younger, I was a dancer, involved in a variety of sports, and a fitness fanatic.  I certainly did NOT understand how a person could ever allow themselves to get this big...and now, here I am.  This is how a person becomes 450 lbs.          

Ta-da! My not-so-super story...condensed

I'm a forty-something, single mother of two.  I'm 5'2" tall and weigh approximately 450 lbs.  I've been heavy most of my life, but the weight didn't keep me from living life to the fullest or feeling self-confident...until a few years ago.  Now, for the most part, I'm apartment-bound and it won't be long before I won't be able to get out of bed.  I'm desperate to get moving and get this weight off before it's too late!  Sadly, I just don't know how I'm going to do it.  I don't have the money for healthy meals, exercise equipment or even transportation.  I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous, but it's true.  I'd love to be able to make some money from home, but I don't even know how to do that (I'm very computer illiterate...as you'll come to find out).  Anyway, I don't want to turn this into a sob story.  I just hope blogging will eventually help me regain my confidence and allow me to feel comfortable writing on this blasted piece of technology.  I guess I'll have to take it from there.


If anyone has a little blogging advice, I'd greatly appreciate it! :)  

The Amazing Adventures of Super Fatty...

Well, I don't know if the adventures are all that amazing, but I figured that was a better title than The Anonymous Life of the Sarcastic, Super-Obese Chunk-N-Stuff.  I guess I feel like Superwoman trapped in The Blob.  I'm going to die soon if I don't get help!  Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know I have to help myself...and that's why I'm starting this blog.  I figure it's a great way to vent, share, and learn.  Hopefully, I'll entertain a few folks (and myself) along the way.  I'll be back later to post my Super Fatty bio as well as my REAL story.  Stay tuned!